Saying goodbye is one of the most emotional parts of fostering – and no two goodbyes are ever quite the same. But over time, many foster carers come to realise something important: the lasting impact isn’t the sadness of the farewell – it’s the love, the safety, and the positive memories left behind.
In this edition of our Journey of Hearts series, Origins foster carer Genevieve shares how she’s navigated the process of saying goodbye, and how even the hardest part of fostering comes with healing, reflection, and a sense of pride.
“For one of my goodbyes, it was a positive,” Genevieve explains. “They’re going back to the family, and you’re staying with all the positives and staying strong for the kids… and then you’re allowed to crumble.”
Give yourself a few weeks, and then you’re only remembering the fact that you did the positives.
Letting go is tough. There’s no denying the emotional weight that comes when a child you’ve loved and cared for returns to their birth family or moves on to a new placement. Genevieve’s honesty is something many carers can relate to – that bittersweet balance of strength in the moment, and space to feel it all when the house is quiet again.
But she also reminds us: “Give yourself a few weeks, and then you’re only remembering the fact that you did the positives.”
Having a supportive partner, friend, or Link Social Worker to reflect with can make goodbyes more manageable. Genevieve shares how she and her partner Neil help each other through the emotions: “When I’d be feeling bad, he’d say, ‘Yeah, but we did this, that and the other.’ And if he was feeling it, I’d remind him too. You’re telling yourself it… what you did was okay. And it is.”
At Origins Foster Care, the kind of support needed to deal with situations that arise when a placement ends is built into our system. Our foster carers have access to:
• Dedicated Link Social Workers to guide you through transitions
• Trauma-informed training that prepares you for attachment and loss
• Peer support from others who truly understand the experience
• 24/7 on-call support – so you’re never facing it alone
While the goal of foster care is reunification, it can be hard to deal with saying farewell to a child you've welcomed into your home and heart. That's why we have prepared some tips for dealing with goodbyes in foster care that will be useful for anyone considering becoming a carer or anyone who currently fosters.
Sometimes, the most surprising part of saying goodbye is the sudden change in pace. As Genevieve describes it: “During the time they were here… a lot of meetings and phone calls and organising would have been put on the carer. And then that stops. You feel like you had so much control, and suddenly, you don’t have a say anymore. That’s a hard one.”
It’s a powerful reminder that fostering is an immersive, emotional experience – and the silence afterward can feel heavy. But with time, space, and support, what’s left are the joyful memories and the knowledge that you made a lasting difference.
Whether it’s weeks, months, or years, the time a child spends in your care matters deeply. And while saying goodbye might feel like the end, it’s often just the start of something else – resilience, growth, and healing for both child and carer.
Looking for more inspiration from Genevieve’s experience as a foster carer? Read another Journey of Hearts blog post that features her and watch her talk about the young energy that fostering can bring to the family home.
Reach out for any questions and enquiries. A member of our fostering team will get back to you as soon as possible.
