Foster care offers so many incredible opportunities. But it can also bring some difficult parts too. And saying goodbye is one of the hardest – and most emotional – parts of foster care. If you’re exploring the idea of becoming a foster carer, you may already be wondering how it might feel when a child you’ve cared for moves on. The truth is, the emotional impact is real. But with the right mindset and support, it’s absolutely manageable – and even meaningful.
In this edition of Journey of Hearts, Origins foster carer Erin opens up about how she manages these emotional transitions – and we share practical tips for dealing with goodbyes that every foster carer can benefit from.
Saying goodbye can feel like a loss in foster care, because it is. But it’s also the moment when you can see the true impact of fostering – knowing that you’ve given a child what they needed, when they needed it most: love, stability, and a sense of belonging.
“You pour love, time and energy into making them feel safe, and then one day it might be time for them to move on.” – Erin, Foster Carer with Origins
While some children stay with a foster family until they are aged 18 or beyond – becoming a lasting part of the household – others may be there for a shorter time, as they’re reunified with their birth family or move on to another more long-term placement. There are many types of foster care, and each one plays a vital role. What matters most is the love and stability provided while they are with you.
As Erin says: “You pour love, time and energy into making them feel safe, and then one day it might be time for them to move on.” But that's ok, because fostering isn't always about keeping a child forever. It’s about helping them feel safe enough to love, grow, learn and thrive – and preparing them to return to their birth family.
That’s why it’s essential to have strategies and tips for dealing with goodbyes in place, especially as a new carer.
Children in care have often experienced disruption, instability and trauma. When they connect deeply with a foster carer, it may be the first time they’ve felt truly safe. That bond matters – and naturally, when the placement ends, the emotions run deep.
For carers, this can bring up feelings of sadness, grief, and even guilt. But it’s important to remember that these feelings are signs of your compassion and the love you’ve shared. They’re not a reason to step back – but a reason to step in with the right support.
To help foster carers navigate this part of the journey, we’ve gathered the most helpful tips for dealing with goodbyes from both experience and expert guidance:
At Origins we understand that saying goodbye can be heart-wrenching. That’s why we provide ongoing training and emotional support for our foster carers. From the moment you begin your fostering journey, we equip you with the skills to manage attachments in a healthy way and to prepare for transitions.
Our training covers:
As foster carers, it’s important to consider the child’s well-being above all else. For many children in care, change and transition have been a painful part of their lives. However, when a foster carer provides a secure and nurturing home – even for a short time – it helps them build resilience and trust in relationships. A successful transition, where a child feels loved and supported as they move on, reinforces their sense of security rather than adding to their trauma.
At Origins Foster Care, we know that every goodbye carries weight. That’s why as part of the support we offer foster carers, in addition to the training we also provide:
You’re never alone – and with the right preparation and ongoing help, you’ll be equipped with everything you need, including practical tips for dealing with goodbyes in foster care that feel emotionally manageable and meaningful.
Some people hesitate to foster because they fear the heartbreak of letting go. But as Erin reflects:
“As adults, we foster carers can manage our emotions and deal with them in a healthy way. Thankfully, if you’re fostering with Origins, there’s support, training, and people who really understand – to guide us through.”
The emotions are real – but so is the impact you’ll have. Saying goodbye is never easy, but we believe it’s always worth it. Because when a child has known love, safety, and belonging – even for a little while – it changes something in them. And in you.
Is it better to have loved and let go, than never to have loved at all? In foster care, the answer is a resounding yes. Because even when the farewell is bittersweet, the time you’ve shared – the love, the safety, the laughter – becomes part of that child’s story forever. And your heart? It grows in the giving.
Reach out for any questions and enquiries. A member of our fostering team will get back to you as soon as possible.
